Wednesday, November 7, 2012

A Layman's Guide to the 12-PAC

The 12-PAC is in its second football season, but I understand some people are still trying to sort out who ended up where in all the conference realignment that has taken place recently. In order to help you out, I present my walk-through of the 12-PAC*.

(* if you insist on calling it the PAC-12 I assume you are under 21, or just no fun)

It is a veritable jungle out West and if you are a fan of the Utes
I don't get Swoop in the least and do not recognize it as a legitimate mascot

your best bet is to come hungry and be well prepared to tackle some Buffalo,

 stalk some Wildcats
Yeah there mascot isn't a female, but you probably didn't notice until you read this anyway
or go Duck hunting.
I prefer open water Duck Hunting

You even have a sporting chance to bag your choice of bear: Golden
That might be the ugliest mascot ever
 Or Bruin
Attempting to hide behind the scenery

But proceed with caution or you may be fall victim to the Sun Devils.
Consider me tempted by the Devils (Cheerleaders)

If you can survive the jungle you are halfway done. The nightlife is calling and what better way to being than by wrapping up the Trjoans
Judging by the beanie it must be December

before blitzing some Beavers.

Still up for more? Then head to the Northwest where you can try hold down the Huskies
Not the best spelling team out there

or sack energetic Cougars.
Not a bad scoreboard distraction
No matter your game plan you better be prepared because any opportunity for success may also leave you high and dry like a Cardinal in a Tree.
Um, yeah
So now you have a better understanding of what awaits you in the 12-PAC, happy hunting.